Divorce was in the air

Silence hung in the room, fraught with discouragement and despair.

Bane and Rua were still not speaking to each other, and the missionary and church elders had run out of words.

Missionary David Searcy, Ibung and other Punan church elders made the arduous trip downriver by canoe to help these new believers settle their marriage problems. They had quoted Scriptures, discussed biblical marriage principles and tried everything they could think of throughout the day. But nothing seemed to penetrate the anger emanating from Bane and Rua.

“It was getting late. The sun was setting and people were tired from the emotional wrestling since midday,” said David. “We were all tired and longing to take a bath in the cool river running just outside the door. The coffee kettle was long empty and the cups were already full of ants. Cigarette smoke hung heavy in the hot, humid tropical air.”

Before the missionaries brought the Gospel message to the Punan people the divorce rate was nearly 100 percent. Many couples divorced and remarried several times. Among believers there had been no divorces.

Yet there didn’t seem to be any solution for Bane and Rua. It seemed that only a miracle could save this marriage.  

Rua sat in the window sill, silhouetted in the open window, smoking a cigarette. Bane sat on the floor across the room. Bane and Rua remained silent, pent-up anger obvious in their stance.

Out of desperation, Ibung asked Rua, “Can you forgive Bane? Can you mutually forgive?”

No one expected anything.

Rua took a long draw on her cigarette and flipped it to the ground. She slipped down out of the window, crossed the room and squatted on the floor in front of Bane. She extended her hand and asked for forgiveness. Bane stood and drew Rua up and right there in the middle of the room; they shook hands and extended forgiveness to one other.

David and the church leaders sat stunned as they watched the miracle unfold. This had never happened before in Punan culture.

Sometimes simple forgiveness is the only solution.

Jesus made possible what the men could not accomplish. The couple continued to work on their marriage and to grow in the Lord. They now serve as leaders in two area churches.